Indian society is well known to render high values to the idea of family, every action in life ultimately being for the family’s welfare. So it seems only natural in our society to see parents handling the wheel of their child’s life, even well into adulthood. This can come in the form of disregarding their ideas or wishes, dismissal of everything they say as immature and lacking foresight, drawing comparisons with others etc. A recent study on Indian parenting behavior and its effect on adolescents concluded that Indian adolescents were heavily controlled by their parents and this could lead to maladaptive decision making in them in their future.
Even though at some levels the financial and social security that we receive in Indian families is the basis of the strong social background we possess, overdoing it can unknowingly damage their child’s idea of self-worth and confidence to take on with their lives.
Parents are programmed to worry about their children. But they must realize that they cannot be around to protect them forever. So rather than controlling every aspect of their lives, parents should advice them about both sides of any decision and let them decide and act on their own.
An ideal parenting style where kids are taught to see right and wrong in everything and have a balanced attitude towards problems life throws at them that ultimately gives them a strong base is what we should encourage.
We asked our medbound community to comment their thoughts on this topic:
Indian parents are overprotective, no doubt! I will not call it toxic, but overwhelming (for youngsters).Dr. Munish Raizada, MD, FAAP, Neonatologist, USA
It's not toxic for sure! It's just that they are overprotective of their child. Sometimes it's good that they help in decision making as they are elder than us and also experienced!!Lalitha Lavanya Shree.S, 4th-year Medical Student
Parenting is a tough job; all parents try their best for their children. There are multiple aspects to it, but I believe that people try to do their best with what they have.Dr. Darshit Patel, Medical Lead & Advisor at MedBound
I will call it a generation gap instead of over-protectiveness or toxicity. I do not deny it. It is true that children suffer, but what if we try to understand them once instead of just judging them? It's just that they don't want us to suffer the same way they did.Himani Negi, Copy Editor at MedBound Times
There's a thin boundary between being protective and overprotective towards your child and this boundary has to be respected.Ms. Anushka Shroff, Pharmacy Student, Maharashtra
In a culture where respecting elders is venerated, it's kind of natural to not see their wrongs. But we also need to remember that definition of right and wrong has changed with time. What seems wrong to us is fine to some people from other times and vice versa. Sometimes having good intentions does not naturally makes our actions right.Gunjan Negi, BA Psychology
I wouldn't go as far as calling them toxic but at the same time, the truth can't be denied that they have this need to control and dominate every aspect of their children's lives. However well-intentioned the actions of the parents are their need to micromanage the lives of their children has had a drastically negative impact on children. It has resulted in children developing psychological conditions like anxiety disorders, depressive episodes, self-worth issues, etc.Dr. Anjali Singh, BDS student, KGMU Lucknow
Overprotective parents become toxic in the long run. When the child is small, the parents take most decisions. It is a hard job to parent and keep a balance.Parul Soni, Physiotherapist