Vaginismus is a condition that affects many women, causing recurrent or persistent involuntary spasms of the vaginal muscles, preventing penetration despite a strong desire to do so. Dr. Mitali, also known as Dr. Uterus on Instagram, recently shared a story that beautifully encapsulates the struggles and triumphs of dealing with vaginismus. In her post, she recounts consulting with a woman from Toronto who has been battling this condition. Her story sheds light on the emotional and psychological challenges faced by those with vaginismus and emphasizes the importance of supportive partners in the journey to healing.
The woman Dr. Mitali consulted has been married for three years and is planning for pregnancy, facing societal and familial pressures to conceive. Despite being with her partner for thirteen years, she only realized her discomfort with penetration after marriage. Her journey has included consulting various doctors, using dilators, and seeing a pelvic floor physiotherapist, all while grappling with extreme fear surrounding intimacy, pregnancy, and childbirth.
Remarkably, her partner has been her steadfast supporter, booking consultations, conducting research, and helping her navigate this condition. Dr. Mitali highlights that men can be incredibly patient and supportive, often putting aside their own expectations and egos to help their partners. This story underscores the significant role of emotional support and understanding in managing and overcoming vaginismus.
Vaginismus is characterized by involuntary contractions of the pelvic floor muscles, which close the entrance of the vagina. This condition can be primary, where penetration has never been possible, or secondary, where penetration was once possible but no longer is. It is often rooted in fear, making it a phobic and reflexive response to perceived or anticipated harm from vaginal penetration.
Vaginismus is a psychosomatic condition, meaning it arises from the interaction between mind and body. Psychological and emotional factors play a significant role, including:
Negative Beliefs and Fears: Misinformation about sex, fear of pain, and shame around sexuality can contribute to vaginismus.
Trauma: Past sexual abuse, painful intercourse, or witnessing violence can trigger vaginismus.
Anxiety and Stress: High-stress levels and anxiety can increase vulnerability to vaginismus.
Relationship Dynamics: Lack of emotional safety with a partner can exacerbate anxiety about vulnerability and intimacy.
A holistic approach is essential for treating vaginismus, addressing both physical and psychological aspects. Effective treatment plans often include:
Psycho-sexual Therapy: Addressing underlying psychological and mental health factors with a trauma-informed therapist.
Mind and Body Relaxation: Mindfulness, breathing exercises, and yoga can help reduce stress and anxiety.
Pelvic Floor Exercises: Strengthening and relaxing pelvic floor muscles through exercises prescribed by a pelvic health physiotherapist.
Vaginal Dilators: Gradually stretching the vaginal muscles using dilators to reduce pain and allow muscles to relax.
Partner Support and Intimacy: Improving communication, understanding, and emotional connection between partners, possibly with the help of couples counseling.
Support Networks: Connecting with other women who have vaginismus to share experiences and support.
Living with vaginismus can be challenging, but it is a treatable condition. With the right support and a comprehensive treatment plan, women can overcome the fear and pain associated with vaginismus. The story shared by Dr. Mitali highlights the importance of compassionate and patient partners, as well as the need for a holistic approach to treatment.
Every individual has the right to a safe, pain-free, and pleasurable sexual experience. By addressing both the physical and psychological components of vaginismus, women can reclaim their sexual health and well-being. If you or someone you know is struggling with vaginismus, reach out to a healthcare provider to explore treatment options and begin the journey toward healing.
References:
1. https://proactiveforher.com/blogs/vaginismus/fear-of-painful-sex-understanding-vaginismus-as-a-phobia-response/
2. https://psychcentral.com/blog/5-ways-to-deal-with-an-intimacy-phobic-person#next-steps
3. https://www.healthline.com/health/vaginismus#outlook
By Krisha Shah
MSM